Questioning My Value in a New Season of Life

Different seasons of life can often leave us feeling strained, confused, and lacking the patience to let what’s next come to us naturally. I have found that I often have trouble sorting through the changing seasons due to having the expectation that I have to have everything figured out.

I have to know what is next in the monetary category, the family category, the professional development category, the personal development category, the next business category — all the categories. Once I have these figured out, I write them on my mirror in my bathroom, the white board in my office and anywhere I can put a “sticky note” that will remind me what my next goals are. #manifesting

This method helps me stay focused on those goals, manifest what I want, and stay on track to achieving them.

BUT — what happens when you can’t figure out what those next goals are going to be?

We know we need help, but we don’t know what we need help with or what we want help with so we can’t ask for that help. WTF is happening right now?! When we have goals and a clear direction and an understanding of what is next, we can then employ the help, get the training and take all the action needed to get there.

After all, the knowledge part is for the brain, but the action part is for the body — we connect the 2 when we are clear on what we want and then we take the action to get it. But when we can’t connect the 2 — that’s where so many people, including myself, are just out here doing the f*cking most, grasping at every straw for an idea, a thought, or an “Ah Ha,” rather than letting it come to them.

What if, though, the answers come with doing less and listening more?

What if the answers don’t lie in shaking every tree to see what leaves fall?

After all, if you’re standing there with all these leaves falling down around you from all the trees you shook, how will you know which leaf is the right one?

How can you sort through that?

How can you adequately be aware of which leaf you’re looking for if you’re distracted by all the leaves falling as well as the pile on the ground and the occasional "squirrel" that thinks you’re bat shit crazy as it zooms past you?

The answer — you can’t.

We live in a world where its mandatory to have a plan or a direction or “something in place” and if you don’t then you are failing or you’re a one hit wonder or you’re not an adult and you better do all the things to figure it out so you don’t appear to be lacking.

Hm — interesting though that the majority of people who make these decisions hastily are doing so because they are more worried about the appearance of what they are doing rather than their own happiness and the meaning behind what they are doing. #optics

Think about it — how many people are miserable in their profession or their life situation because they did the “right thing” as it was suggested by some one else? They say things like:

• “Well this was the next logical step.”
• “Well we had been together for this long, so why not?”
• “I had already gone through med school and even though I hatedit, it was too late to start over.”
• “All the men before me in the family were [insert profession].”

 Even the dreaded comparison situation? They see what someone has accomplished or the things they have and immediately start comparing. They construct a whole new life that wasn’t even their own because they compared themselves to another person all the while believing that they are behind. Every said to yourself, “Well I just thought I’d be further along by [insert age]?”

Seasons of life can change just as regularly as the seasons of the year. And just like those seasons of the year we tend to enter fight or flight. We rush through our spring cleaning in a panicked filled weekend that leaves us tired as hell by Monday. We rush around during the holidays to find the last gift of its kind to give to our kids, parents, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, bothers, sisters, in laws — you get my point.

We rush at the last min during thanksgiving to get the last food item we forgot and hope the store still has it. We even rush on a daily basis to get up, get the kids ready for school, get to work, get a work out in, handle all the calls, make all the meals, get everyone ready for bed just so we can collapse into our own at the end of the day without ever considering to ourselves what we saw, heard, felt or experienced.

Have you ever seen the single parent at the airport juggling 2 kids — one a leash, a diaper bag, a suitcase and her whole life looks frazzled as he/she collapses into their seat for their flight? Ever considered who looks at your life and sees you juggling your own shit the same way? #message

What would happen if we took a second just to sit. Listen. Pray. Meditate. Manifest. Clear the noise. Just long enough to hear what is in store for us. To FEEL it.

When we are caught in the hustle mindset of needing to have it all figured out and when we are shaking all the trees and turning over all the rocks we often miss what God or the universe is trying to show us or allow us to FEEL. We are caught up in figuring it out all on our own because we believe there is some self-fulfilling prophecy or merit badge that comes with saying, “I did it all on my own without any help.”

Newsflash, none of us do it all on our own. There is no such thing as “self-made.”

Maybe if we are silent and still long enough we will understand what it is we need or want and better yet — how to ask for what it is we need or want help with.

When it FEELS good, its easier to find the knowledge we need and take the action to make the goals happen. When the body and the mind are in sync — that’s where we find new meaning in the new season and that’s where we are able to see all the signs around us that tell us we are right where we are supposed to be.